I Need Time

This has been one hell of a week.

I’m drained mentally and I’m fighting to keep it together. There are so many topics I could easily focus on but nothing is sticking. Maybe it doesn’t want to stick. Every fleeting idea, every bottomless thought seems so trivial compared to life and the state of our nation; the state of the black community. In one instance, I feel like my voice doesn’t matter and within another it does. But my mind is struggling to find the right words when it comes to Living While Black. The goal is to be coherent but after attempting to fish out the confusion, separate it from the angry and sadness, find a light in this bleak and divided world, I’m afraid that I’ll never have the right words to describe the emotional toll that I have to work through constantly. I’m an over-thinker. Over-thinkers tend to get lost in their heads, comb over every detail, option, opinion, and answer, especially when they don’t understand. That is where I am now. I don’t get it. I’m angry. I was going to delete my Facebook the other day to decompress, but decided against it, seeing as it is one of the places I share my blog posts. I have a feeling that this post in particular will get lost in the newsfeeds because death is abundant and unforgiving.

I think I need time.