Nothing To It But To Do It
I am now staring at the George Washington bridge, wondering how I got here. It was on a Monday when I was offered an opportunity to be an assistant editor for a documentary and after sleeping on it, I decided to take it. Now I'll be counting the blackened splotches of gum on the ground to distract me from the smells and listening to tunnel musicians while waiting for the A to arrive.
I almost missed out on this experience because of my over-thinking. Too busy focusing on myself, I was coming up with excuses as to why I should say no: I’ll miss my friends, my God family is here, my partner is here, I won’t be able to drive my car, Wegmans won’t be here till 2017, I’ll no longer be in control of my time, Mark’s Pizzeria chicken bacon ranch will be a memory, fresh fruit is at least a hundred miles away, and four of my jobs are in Rachacha. This is what I've been waiting and asking for and it was finally in the palm of my hands, but still I was looking for a way out.
After accepting the position the next day— Tuesday, I asked my new employer:
“When would you like me to start?”
“How about Thursday?”
As in that coming Thursday. Yeah, two days into the future. After scrambling to write resignation letters, I so kindly explained my situation to my managers. On Wednesday, one of my employers asked when I would be leaving and I squeaked “tomorrow.” And what’s funny is, with all the doubt that was running in my head in that moment, even my bosses were supportive, pushing me towards this open door that I struggled to close. Now I really don’t have a reason.
So with the support of my partner, family, and friends in my back pocket, I quit two jobs in one day (the irony), I shoved my clean and dirty clothes into bags, and texted everyone the address to my job so they can visit on my impromptu last day and say goodbye. That’s all she wrote. No time to register what just happened, no time to do laundry, and no time to let sink in that I was sort of leaving behind a lot of stuff dear to me.
Now I’m here, grateful that for the first time since college I’m moving towards my career and working in a manner that will challenge me and stretch my imagination. And it doesn't hurt that this is my view everyday.
The point of this story and blog post is we all have to start somewhere and sometimes it takes time. But if things start moving quickly, don’t get lost in the whirlwind and doubt yourself (like I did). Re-calibrate, push through, and you’ll come out of the other side having learned something about what you want in life. Hey, you never know. You might even surprise yourself.
